


Coming Out Series

by animegrl421



Category: South Park
Genre: Coming Out, Gay Male Character, Humor, Lesbian Character, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 13:43:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1690376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animegrl421/pseuds/animegrl421
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshots about the boys-and later the girls-of South Park coming out to friends, family, or just everyone in general. Will include who is coming out in each chapter's title. </p><p>If you have an idea you want written please comment or message it to me and I'll make it happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kenny to Everyone

"She loves you, dude!" Kyle reassured, a hand resting against his friend's shoulder.

"Then why would she leave me, Kyle?" Stan asked morosely, his voice muffled only by the table on which he'd slammed his head.

Kenny picked at his own food across from them, stealing a few of their tray items every once in awhile. So far, this conversation over Stan being distraught about Wendy's breaking up with him had lasted seven of the twenty-five minutes they had for lunch. With no look of an ending as of yet.

He normally never really talked, but he was so tired of having to hear them talking about this every two weeks. He had their speech patterns pretty much memorized by now to the point where he wondered if Kyle was actually trying to help anymore or was just going through the motions like a trooper.

Just as he was about to interrupt them, Cartman-who at this point was huffing every two seconds and completely finished with his meal-spoke, "Would you two fags shut up now? I'm trying not to barf-up everything I just ate!"

Kyle turned to Cartman, eyes full of life as they glared at the brunette. At least that answered Kenny's earlier question. Kyle had definitely been going through the motions. "Shut up, fatass, just because you don't have anyone who ever liked you doesn't mean you can go around hating those that do!"

"I have people who like me! Why Stan's girlfriend-"

"In elementary school!" Kyle interrupted, already knowing where Cartman was going with the earlier comment.

They continued like this for all of another minute before they entered into a different argument entirely. Something about Judaism, then gingers, and a couple minutes more and Kenny had no idea what they were talking about anymore.

"They're pancakes!" Kyle exclaimed, while Cartman just huffed and turned away to ignore the redhead.

Kenny raised a brow while the table fell into complete silence. Stan picked at his own food before scooting the tray over to Kenny. Kyle followed. "Woo hoo!" Kenny's muffled voice said as he dug into the remnants contained on the plates handed to him.

He eyed the table after a minute more, seeing both Kyle and Cartman seething while Stan was looking glazed-eyed over to Wendy's table. Near them Craig's gang ignored everything they had heard. They too, were silent.

Kenny swallowed, shrugging to himself. Silence wasn't his thing. Well, not unless he was the only one being silent. It was awkward and weird and he hated hearing the food in his mouth being chewed over everything else.

He licked his lips top to bottom, sliding his tongue smoothly over while tasting the salt of the french fries he'd just eaten. _Salty…_

Tired of the silence, and reminded of his night, Kenny spoke next with a casual tone, "So I was fucking this dude last night-"

"Dude!" Stan interrupted, face now up from the table with shock written across it.

Kyle was coughing, choking on the water he'd only just swallowed.

Cartman however, huffed at all of this, "Stop being such a fag, dude."

Further down the table Craig's gang sat. Tweek was apparently having some sort of fit of anxiety while Token and Craig looked bored. Craig just flipped him off. Kenny winked in his direction before turning back to his group.

"Are you guys gonna let me continue or…?" Kenny asked steadily, taking a drink of his milk. He took in everyone's silence then shrugged and began to explain to them in vivid detail about his night with the man from North Park.


	2. Cartman and Kyle to Everyone

Kyle had been having a normal week despite South Park's typical problems. This week for some reason just seemed to be above all those problems. He'd managed to not only avoid being turned into a leprechaun but also avoided the alien invasion completely. Ignoring everything was turning out to be the best lesson he'd ever taught himself in life.

On Friday, Kyle was opening his locker-one of the only lockers not melted by an alien ray at this point-when he heard it. A laugh that was somehow familiar but so high-pitched, so over done despite the male undertone that Kyle just had to look towards the instigator.

Eyes widened; jaw dropped. "What the Hell-" he began to whisper before the voice sounded again just as high as the laugh but twice as loud.

"Oh hey, Kahl!" The perpetrator began to walk over to him, completely ignoring Tweek-who had all but run away screaming about danger. Craig promptly followed at a slower pace and with a more serious and determined expression while a gaping Token looked from Craig to the sight then back again.

How he wished he could have been one of the abducted. "C-Cartman?"

There was no typical poof-ball hat, nor was there the red jacket and jeans Kyle was used to the other wearing. Instead Cartman looked like something out of a clown's dream. No, more than that, like a giant rainbow person mixture.

Horizontally rainbow striped hair led down to a vertically rainbow striped face. The striped led downward to the neck but were cut off by a large; fluffy multi-colored boa that was wrapped around the boy's throat like a scarf. The shirt was a deep-v so low that it left the entire stomach on display-the entirely painted rainbow stomach. The shirt itself had splashes of bright colors splattered across its entirety. The sleeves were slit open and long, connecting at the user's wrists by thin fabric. Displayed arms were painted just like the body.

Dark blue booty shorts were surrounded by leather chaps. He wore flip-flops weirdly enough, that were also multi-color with red straps. To top off the entirely weird outfit were two tiny rainbow flags-one per shoulder-sticking up from the shirt. Beyond the outfit were huge feathers, each one a different bright color, sticking up from the chaps- Kyle presumed-and peeking out behind Cartman's head.

And on the right ear was one tiny silver stud on the lobe.

Kyle couldn't help but gape-what else could he do at this point but gape after all? He barely noticed the other teens running outside and away from the fashion abomination-Bebe leading them.

"Yes, Kahl?" Cartman asked in his high tone voice. He batted his glittery lashes, placing a well-manicured hand onto his hip. He then jutted the hip outwards, nearly hitting a passerby who looked over and dropped his things and ran.

Kyle watched it all with a bewildered expression until he managed to steady his swirling thoughts and confusion. Then, "Is this your way of making fun of an entire culture?"

Cartman's eyes widened dramatically as a hand covered his mouth. Before he could get a word out, Stan and Kenny arrived at their lockers only to pause mid-step and stare.

Kenny was the first to move, only to tumble over onto the floor in laughter.

Stan pinched his nose, "What the fuck, fatass?" he muttered so lowly Kyle almost didn't catch it.

"Hm!" Cartman sounded, "Well screw all you guys! You're hating on me 'cause I'm gay, aren't you?"

Kenny continued to laugh, louder with Cartman's words, rolling on the tiled floor while holding his stomach.

"What?" Kyle asked, bewildered. "We're hating on you because you're dressed like a lunatic and acting so stereotypical that-"

"Is there a problem here, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey asked, coming up to the group. How Kyle wished Mr. Mackey never got promoted to high school counselor. Or was it a demotion?

The boys minus Cartman tried to respond with, "No," but Cartman exclaimed over all of them, "Yes! Mr. Mackey _they_ are objectifying me!"

"Not sure you know what that word means…" Kyle started to say only to be shushed.

" _Objectifying_ and hating on me because of my coming out of the closet! I refuse to be silent, Mr. Mackey, this is a hate crime!" Cartman shouted.

"Fucking Christ," Stan said, while Mr. Mackey tried to tell him that wasn't a 'nice' word to use.

"You see Mr. Mac-kay, these boys are being rude and disrespectful to my culture and I will not stand for it!" Cartman declared, stomping his foot. As the flip-flop his the ground it lit up to display random colors dancing up and down the shoe ware.

"Oh, come on!" Kyle said, growing angrier by the second. "He's doing this to make fun of an entire culture that he's not even a part of!"

Cartman gasped loudly, a hand covering his mouth. "You see? You see now, Mr. Mackey?"

"I'm afraid I do, Mr. Cartman," Mr. Mackey declared, serious eyes with furrowed brows looking over the teens in front of him. "You three in my office. Now." he demanded in a serious tone.

"Seriously?" Kyle exclaimed. "This isn't even fair!"

"You shouldn't make fun of others for their sexual preference, Kyle."

"But I'm gay!" Kyle replied instantaneously.

Even Kenny paused in his laughter as everyone turned to him.

"Fuck." Kyle muttered.

"Haha! I got you!" Cartman laughed, taking out a small recorder from underneath his flowing shirt.

_Fucking fatass…_

 


End file.
